I remember that popular catch phrase from the 70s and often found myself using it on a daily basis. “Oh …  spare me!” or some such comment. While it is a flashback to fond comments as appropriate then as “Just sayin’…” is now, I’m using it today for a totally different reason. “Totally” …  remember that one, too? Anyway, my weekend brought about a humorous reminder that we humans are too quick to do things without really thinking them through. We jump for opportunities to re-live a once popular and fun event that was so much easier in our youth. What hasn’t changed? Our still stubborn will to learn things the hard way. So it was with my weekend experience with BOWLING!

I use to love to go bowling. Between that and roller skating, nothing else really took up my Friday evenings during adolescence. I wasn’t very good at either but, then again, who has to be good as long as it was fun? It’s the fun that I remember that prompted me to think that it would be an interesting endeavor this past weekend when my husband and I were visited by our one daughter and grandson. The weather was pretty bleak so there was little else to do at the cabin get away so we decided to hit the bowling alley about 10 miles away. Now, what I need to explain is that the knowledge of my chronic illness and its limitations should have been a loud enough warning. No, stubborn me thought, “What could it hurt?” Yes, that was a stupid question. It could hurt A LOT! Three games later … it did. Actually, my knees were pretty much blown out in the first game but I plodded on. By nightfall, sleep came only at the hand of medication and ice packs on my neck.

Will I ever learn? I’ve often compared my chronic illness with the plight of those on medication for other issues. It’s a Catch 22 really. You take the medication to take away the awful pain that something like Lupus brings … once the pain lets up, you feel better … once you feel better, you think, “Hey, I can do that!” …  so you ‘do that’, then you’re in pain … so you take medication for the pain. See what I mean? It’s like the hamster in the cage, spinning on the wheel. You go nowhere but seem determined to get somewhere. You seem determined to not give up another shred of independence. The funny part (okay, not so ha-ha funny) is that it’s not really up to me at all. This chronic illness will take its toll on me and things WILL have to be given up but for me, not without a fight.

Okay, so I’ve added bowling to the list of things I can no longer do. Just today I was telling a Reverend acquaintance, “Where one thing is taken away, a great blessing is waiting to take its place.” That’s the way God works. There’s a reason for this illness and it’s for God’s glory. He knows the how’s and why’s of it all, I need not concern myself because I’m in His hands. That is enough for me. So, I’ll give up an ‘alley’ but I can guarantee there will be a path. I’ll give up a ‘ball’ but I know there is a book. I’ll give up ‘silly shoes’ but my feet will be covered with sandals of peace. What God has to replace a game of skill, I do not know. What I do know is He’ll equip me no matter what and it will be good. A perfect 300, I’m sure!


About Rose M

God first, always. Husband, family and all else a blessing, even the Lupus.
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6 Responses to SPARE ME!

  1. Hi BD. Welcome. Always glad to meet a fellow lupie. Thank you for your kind words. I look forward to checking out your blog.

  2. BD says:

    Hi Rose, Just wanted to come and say hi. I stumbled upon your blog as I was looking for interesting ones that were similar to mine as I have lupus as well. I enjoy reading yours and I just wanted to come in and introduce myself and join for the updates. Keep writing 🙂

  3. Oh btw…trusting you and your family had a GREAT Easter, too, Wayne.

  4. Thank you, Wayne. I so appreciate your words of encouragement. While I always give God my day before my feet hit the floor, I do look for any opportunity that God puts before me to serve Him. Whether that be tomorrow, the next or the next….watching and waiting and doing!

  5. Wayne says:

    Rose, Hope you had a blessed Easter. We did. From your writing I pick up this theme: "Living in the Beyond." There is life beyond lupus, as you reiterate, eventuating in God's beyond … but always living in God's time.

  6. Rose, Oh, but I have so done these things too! It is so difficult to not; "try". Which leads us at times in thinking; "just maybe this time I can"? As there is so much we are not able do due to the limitations of chronic pain and illness, it is empowering for us to keep trying. Agree with you, as you may not be able to do what you used to but looking for what is still available to have a better quality of life. Thank you once again for helping me know that I am not alone in having limitations and to still endeavor to move forward. I had to laugh with a "head nod", when reading your post, as I have too "paid later" for trying to do something I used to that I enjoyed.

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