Throughout my journey of blogging, I’ve learned several things about not only blogging, but about myself. One major thing that I’ve learned about blogging is not to do it when angry. That’s not to say you shouldn’t write while angry for that can be good therapy, just don’t publish it. At least, wait a little while till you’ve calmed down and can either blog coherently or publish once you’ve had a chance to re-read what you originally wrote. Today, I wish to blog about rejection and how NOT to let it steal your dream.
Today I was rejected. It came in the form of an email in the manner of a form-letter without even bothering to address me by name. I think being rejected for anything, anything at all, is probably one of the most common forms of humiliation. Be it rejection from a loved one, a relationship with a friend, submitting your art work or writing for consideration, job resume’ submissions, whatever you put out there for someone else to have a say in how it affects your life. It’s humiliating and sometimes devastating to one’s self esteem to be told you’re not good enough. It doesn’t matter how tough of an exterior you put on for others to see, it hurts. It’s a sting that, if left untreated, will swell up like a welt and cause you nothing but pain for who knows who long?
I’ve seen this happen to many people. All those instances I mentioned above? Yep, I’ve seen it happen to people and I’ve seen the affect it has on them. Some recover quickly, others are not so fortunate. The ones that take more time are usually the ones that offend easily, hurt deeply and shy away from the world for a period of time. I am of the latter description. But the good news is I’ve had some revelations lately that have been working on me to build me up in the area of self-esteem so the offenses and the hurts and the shyness are becoming less and less while my desire to do that which I am driven to do becomes more and more. If anything I say can help even one person deal with a situation that they are going through then that rejection I got that I spoke about earlier, becomes null and void in my life.
Revelation #1. If it’s a relationship, does it build you up or tear you down? Does it mess with your head or screw with your ability to rationalize? Each person needs to take a personal inventory of relationships to see if they’re toxic and unhealthy. The fact that we have such a large capacity to reach so many by way of the internet makes us all the more vulnerable to allowing people in our lives that really just shouldn’t be there. If you know in your heart the relationship isn’t healthy, then get rid of it. I would offer up, “The sooner the better.”
Revelation #2. Do you know you have a gift or a talent or a goal? Not what others tell you about yourself but what you know to be true deep down in your heart and soul? From the depths of your innermost being comes forth the desire to excel in an area that brings you joy. If that joy is for you and you alone then go for it. If that joy just happens to benefit someone else, even better. Go for it. If that joy takes you on a path that leads you to stand in the place where you are called to be then fantastic! Go for it!
Revelation #3. Where one steals, many are there to give back. Rejection often comes by way of a single hand. It need only be one, sole person that makes an indelible mark. However, in the grand scheme of life where it takes just one, there are usually countless many to stand in the gap and be there for you as a cheerleading squad. A pep rally, if you will. The problem many of us have is putting it out there for others to know. Letting others know of our disappointments is often seen as a weakness and to be avoided. I have found that in this area, I couldn’t have been more wrong. If I have a heart to lift others up when they’re going through hard times, shouldn’t I know that there are those who would be there for me if I reached out? Absolutely!
Revelation #4. Finally, the decision on where we go following rejection is ultimately up to us. Rejection can often be a good thing in that it prevents us from following a path we were never meant to be on. It can also be an indication that there is something bigger and better just around the corner. That applies to relationships, jobs, goals, etc. When one experiences rejection, learn from it. Continue to seek out that which is in your heart. Never expect it to stop at just one rejection. Set your expectations low yet your desire high.
There you have it. These have been my revelations on rejection and how NOT to let it steal your dream. I have a dream (one of the most prolific lines ever spoken by Martin Luther King Jr), and no one rejection, or two rejections, three or four, etc., will keep me knocked down or from reaching my dream. What I am to be doing and where I am to be going is etched on my heart and the path is waiting for me ahead and my only responsibility is to put one foot in front of the other each and every day. Permit me to end with one of my favorite scriptures, Proverbs 16:9 says, “In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps.” Here’s me, going for it!